10 ways to indiscreetly get revenge,Note that these are all my ideas and you may not take the credit for my brilliant ideas and suggestions.
Ive composed a badass list of 20 ways to indiscreetly get revenge,you may ask yourself "wont I get caught" or "that person will know it was me".That is why I said "indiscreetly". Have a girlfriend that broke your heart? How about a stalker? A family member that is making your life a living hell? Well it's time to turn the tables.These are all good reasons to stop taking my words in such a sarcastic manner and start taking shit seriously.If you can't can't seem to get your life back on track cause of a troubling experience caused from the insincerity of another,then you have come to the right man for advice on considering revenge.Im not saying go out and get revenge if your unhappy,oops I lied, I guess I am suggesting it.Dont worry friends your not alone in this little adventure. I have mapped a guide line for you to put a serious plan to action without the opposing force having any clue of deception.

*** 1)The first successful revenge I sought out on accomplishing as a young boy-"pee in the ice cube tray tactic" Quite possibly one of my favotites to put into action and one that I get the most gratification out of.
step 1-Wait till you are alone in the kitchen.
Step 2-Pee into a tall glass,you dont want a small glass in case you cant stop when it fills,this could spoil the plan.
Step-3-Quietly open the freezer and take the ice cube tray out.
Step 4-Empty any remaining ice from the tray into the trash can.
step 5-lean over the sink and carefully pour the pee into the ice cube tray,(make sure water is running).
step 6-Put it back where you found it.
Enjoy,i have had many years of silent gratificaion using this method.



***2)"Toothbrush toilet grime tactic"
step 1-Take the basturds toothbrush from its holder.
step 2-brush the inner brim of the toilet.
step 3-Place back making sure you put it exactly where you found it.
Only 3 steps to this one but if he thinks he's bad for talkin shit then he can swallow his own.


***3)"gasorade tactic" use this tactic only if the victim loves their yard and property,Quite simply all you have to do is wait till the majority of the people that live on this persons street go to bed.First fill a bottle of gatorade with gasoline.Drive up a block from the persons house.Walk with the bottle of gatorade in a bag.Once you have reached their yard open the bottle and empty out the contents as you stroll across their lawn.Quickly get the f**k out of there with the bottle in the bag(do not leave evidence or fingerprints).Now enjoy the sweet envy.Their yard will surely die off within 4 to 5 days from the gas laced soil,leaving patches and screwing up the evenly green glow of a fresh manicured lawn.(or if your a real badass like me, throw a ciggarette onto the gas patch as you run away)


***4)"Carpet nail rubber scheme"Another I use quite frequently.Simply go to farm and fleet.buy 150 carpet nails.They cost somewhere between a dollar and a buck fifty for 50 nails.This is a nice gesture since it costs less than five dollars.Simply fill a small bucket with the nails. Wait till it gets late in the night. Drive to the end of the persons street and park.Get out of your car like you belong there and are just visiting a friend,not to arrouse suspicion.as you are close to the persons driveway act like your answering your cellhone.now just drop the bucket at the end of their driveway,make sure to scatter the nails as you go to grab up your bucket and make a hastily retreat.get in your car and go home for another beer.

***5)Wow were already on 5 im on a roll.
"Phoneline deactivation method"This one is very simple but somewhat risky.we all need risk in our lives so I strongly recommend this method.Everyone has a main phone line on the outside of their homes that connect all the lines on the interior of their homes.During the day simply pass the persons house, your objective is to locate the little grey box.make sure you take a phillips, get the approriate size by testing it on the phonebox at your house.Simply go to their box at night unscrew the safety screw and snip the biggest wire with your wirecutters.Read this article carefully and only attemp if there is no clear line of sight from neighbors or passer-byers.Now soak in the awesomeness as you walk away and they are no longer connected to the outside world.


***6)Now lets not forget the "Superglued keyhole tactic".Simply walk up to their car with a small tube of superglue and act like your unlocking the car,douse the keyholes with superglue.Works even better in the wintertime.this tactic can also be performed on shed doors,motorcycles,mopads,ski mobiles,tractors,semis etc.Anywhere there is a keyhole.Now go home and give yourself a pat on the back knowing that it is gonna be a bitch for them to get in their car and drive away,maybe if your lucky they will get hit by a passing car because they were not paying attention while trying to jimmy their shit back open.


***7)"The red ant surprise"go into the woods and find a mound of red ants,you'll know they are red ants if they have pertruding mandibles that are sharp to the touch,and of course they are the color of this text.Collect them using a medium sized jar. Put slices of banana and apples in the jar to sucker the ants into the well placed jar near their mound.after you have collected enough to get the point across. Put the lid on the jar(wear leather gloves to cover your ass).Simply sneak into their room and remove the contents under the sheets at the opposite end of where they sleep.Now just wander off like nothing happened and endow yourself with joy, pride and accomplishment.


***8)"The hammered apple"First you will need an apple and a hammer.Wait till you have a clear shot at their car and when the time is right spring into action and place the apple a quarter inch into the exhaust just enough to frame the apple for the hammer whack.Whack the apple all the way into the exhaust so it is secured in place.Then simply turn the hammer around and shove the apple all the way in till there is no more give.simply stand back up and scoot off into the darkness. I think your balls grew 2 1/2 tenths of an inch since the beginning of this article,mine did.

***9)"Good ole slash to the tires"WARNING:Do not attemp if you do not have the balls to react quickly in tight situations". Simply walk up to their vehicle like a mobster from the wide screen.Pull your favorite pocket knife like a cowboy to his gunholster,violently stab into tire with an upward motion.push the knife in if isnt enough thrust to get the job done,either that or grow some balls and do it right the first time.Then quickly reholster your knife and run off into the darkness,like a bat to the night,always keep an eye on your peripharels,if it's dark you never know if someone is hot on your trail,i'd recommend having a getaway car ready,preferably an accomplice to hit the gas in time of panic.Now find a hooker and tell her of your awesomeness,this will guarantee a blowjob free of charge.


***10)"The crimson take out"Or you can do what I usually do and wait till they come out of their house to get in their car at night.After they are in their car and their attention has converted to starting their car instead of covering their asses.Walk up and give the drivers side window an efficient 70 pound blow.This will startle them and they will freeze for your homerun shot to the dome.now go home and bury the baseball bat.



BACK